I felt the scrapbooking itch again today and took out a picture that my dear friend, Jen, took while she was here last May. This is one of my favorite pictures of Zach and I. I can't believe that I hadn't scrapbooked this picture until today!
Someone recently emailed me and asked what size scrapbook pages I work on. I am a big sucker for 12 x 12" pages. I started my first scrapbook in an 8 1/2 x 11" ring album 11 years ago and when I was done with it, I decided that my creative side was just SCREAMING for a larger page to work on. I know that some people swear by 8 1/2 x 11" pages, but I felt so confined by that size and have been working on 12 x 12" pages ever since. I like to spread myself out on my pages and this larger size worked perfectly for me. I've done a few smaller albums as gifts and theme albums, but other than, I'm a die-hard 12 x 12" kind of girl.
Speaking of larger sizes, I'm also a big fan of working with 5 x7" photos. I love that this size brings so much attention to a special photo. A 12 x 12" page holds this size very nicely, while still allowing plenty of space to fit a couple extra pictures on as supporting photos. The picture that you see on this page, as well as the one on the My Wish page that I posted this past Sunday, is a 5 x 7" photo. The larger size photo also works nicely if you choose to only showcase one photo on a page and go heavier on the journaling. The 5 x 7" size doesn't get lost on a big page and there's plenty of room for more journaling or getting really creative with your art.
When I started with this page, I had a lot that I wanted to add to it, but I wanted to make it a simple design and fairly quick to create. I'm seeing, more and more, what a treasure trove my GINORMOUS collection of patterned papers and cardstocks is. Even though this page was fairly quick and easy to put together and isn't overwhelmed with embellishments and only has photo, it still looks like there was a lot of time put into it. I think a large part of that is the use of the patterned cardstocks that I used.
I stamped the title with a Wordsworth alphabet set and black ink. The journaling was all done by hand using a black journaling marker.
This page idea actually came from a feeling of anger. When I look at the finished page, though, I still feel some of that, but I also feel a tremendous amount of love towards my little man. I feel resolve and strength to protect someone I love so much that doesn't understand that fight that needs to be made on his behalf.
I should probably explain the anger that I felt that spurred me on to create this page. Just a couple days ago, I was reading an article online about a teenage autistic boy who was taken from his home by the government and I felt myself reeling inside from rage. You can read the article by clicking ---> HERE. It's a gut-wrenching story and it made me hold on to my son even tighter these last few days, cuddling with him longer and giving him some extra kisses.
This story made me think of all the things that I wish that I could do for my son. Reading stories like that, KNOWING that another family is hurting and in pain, makes me want to take my little family and go far, far away where no one can hurt us, where my son can catch bugs all day and where we can live a life that is safe and nurturing. While that is nice to think about and something we probably COULD do if we really, really wanted to, I choose to stay and fight for my son and be a voice for other children that can't fight for themselves or don't have anyone to fight for them.
When I looked at this picture, it made me think of the family in CA that is without their son......a mom that is unable to hold her son tight in her arms like I am. It makes my eyes tear up. I hurt for those parents, for that brother and for the son. This is where my journaling came from.
"If only I could....
...see the world through your eyes.
...make people understand you.
...keep you from every harm.
...shield you from ignorant people.
...take away all your obstacles.
...keep you innocent always.
...hold you this close forever.
oh, if only."
I used star brads on each of my journaling tabs and for the last tab, I put the star brad through a red punched out heart.
I really do wish that I could keep him self and sheltered forever. It's a mother's heart-call for all of her children. But while my instinct makes me hold him close to me while I can, my instinct also make the mother-bear in me come out and bare my claws for him, and all children, to stay safe in loving homes with loving parents that want the best for their children and will do anything to provide that safe environment for them.
Speaking of scrapbooking and that favorite picture of Zach and I.....that picture is also featured on the page that the guys at MockUTV created for Zach. You can see his story and find links with lots of autism resources here at: Zach's Page. Russ and Kevin, from MockUTV, are donating $1 from each DVD sold to Autism Support Daily. If you haven't had a chance to watch the preview from their hilarious mockumentary on scrapbooking ("Inside Scrapbooking"), then you're missing out on a great bunch of laughs. This DVD makes great gifts for your scrapbooking and papercrafting friends.....Plus there's a coupon in each DVD to use on your next order at GinaK Designs online store! You can check out the preview by clicking ---> HERE
I have been amazed and humbled over the past week by the comments and emails that you have all sent me. I am SHOCKED that I've gotten almost 500 comments on the give-away post. I've also been touched that so many of you are linking to me in your blogs and on forums to spread the word for autism awareness. I've been excited to see my Ebay auction for autism funds go up and know that some of you have spread the word for that, too! Please know that this means the world to me! It can be a scary thing to put yourself out there for so many to see....especially in such a deep and intimate way. I've found nothing but love, compassion, understanding and kindness in the papercrafting world. I want to thank you all for that. Your response to my sharing has created a fire for me to share more, as I want people to understand what living with autism is like.....I believe that sharing contributes to knowledge, compassion and understanding. Those are things that make the world a better place for ALL of our children, autistic or not.
Hug and hold your kids just a little bit tighter.....or those you love most if you don't have kids. Protect and nurture them while they're still in your arms. Time goes by so quickly. Do what you can while you have that time. Don't let it get away from you.
-Erika
Your layout is simply beautiful in so many ways. My daughter is 19 years old and has Autism also. I am wiping away the tears, I totally get your LO and especially your words. To be honest I really hadn't thought to do a LO expressing my feelings about the concerns I have with having a child with Autism. Thank you so much for the inspiration.
Posted by: Marci | February 20, 2008 at 11:10 PM
Erika, this is AWESOME! i love your page!
Posted by: Pesc | February 20, 2008 at 11:22 PM
Erika.........I'm so amazed by you!! You have shared so fantastically deeply that it cannot help BUT effect some wonderful changes and progress!!! This layout is phenomenal!! The anger that you were able to channel into a beautiful gift is a talent and also such wisdom at the same time for all of us!! And touches all moms.......I want those same things for my kids........and we all should want those things for every child!! You are so right.....life is capricious and we don't know what the future may hold.....it's always a wonderful reminder to thoroughly enjoy and love those closest to us while we can!! Kids grow up so quickly.....I can't believe mine are teenagers!!! Thank you so much for sharing!
Posted by: LuvLee | February 21, 2008 at 12:01 AM
This page gives me goosebumps. Thank you so much for sharing.
Posted by: Sharla Carbine | February 21, 2008 at 12:19 AM
This layout is beautiful, brings tears to my eyes!! I realize you feel this more deeply than the rest of us, and why you do - but please know - I feel this for my son also. But I feel in my heart the yearning that you feel to protect your son. I feel that same protectiveness for so many children because our world has gone so terribly wrong.
You have soemthing so sweet and precious and innocent - unmarred, unblemished, perfect - and the world looks at it (him) through their filthy, scratched glasses and sees something totally different. You want to scream at them, Can't you see what I'm seeing? Are you blind? What is wrong with you?
Sorry for the rant.... I feel strongly about the differently abled.
All my love to all of you
~sheri
Posted by: Sheri Coleman | February 21, 2008 at 02:19 AM
WOW Erika, This is such beautiful page and the journaling too.
I've been checking your blog for about a year or so. My mom's best friend's son is also autism and he's also deaf. He is 32 year old. I remember growing up and could not understand why he was in his own world; but as I got older I understood. I just saw him a year ago (they're in TN and I'm in IL) and he still is the same but somewhat more withdrawn.
I applaud you for bring autism to the awareness around the world. I look forward to seeing more works of yours.
Thank you for sharing this such personal experience.
Posted by: Jen | February 21, 2008 at 08:30 AM
Amazing. You. Are. Amazing.
I have a greatneice that is Autistic. Unfortunately, I've never had the chance to get to know her. She lives in Colorado and has for most of her life. And, I didn't even know this until about 3 years ago! (She's about 15 now) My sister and her family moved (again) out there from Maryland a long, long time ago and her daughter and family moved out too. Tabitha was a beautiful girl and I'm sure she still is...they just don't believe in keeping in touch, I guess... (can you tell we've all drifted apart!)
I'm getting off track... just thinking of my neice makes me hope/wish she's been able to have what she needs.
Love 'n Hugs
Posted by: Patty W | February 21, 2008 at 08:55 AM
Absolutely love this layout. First, the photo speaks volumes. Second, you always do such a great job showing how journaling is powerful, important, and artistic on a layout. And finally, I really like the font of the title and those little star brads to bullet each point. All punctuated by having that heart by the most important journaling piece of all. A priceless layout, for sure. Thanks for sharing; makes me want to call my son (a 20 yr old, 800 miles away) and give him phone hugs.
Posted by: Kathy W | February 21, 2008 at 11:59 AM
I'm speechless and deeply touched by your words on this page. It screams at us to remember what really matters most in life - which a lot of folks tend to forget. Thanks for sharing such a powerful suggestion to enrich our lives. Blessings to you and your precious family:)
Posted by: Carol | February 21, 2008 at 12:10 PM
Your layout is beautiful and perfect, I LOVE it! Blessings~
Posted by: Carolynn Waldner | February 21, 2008 at 12:13 PM
I love these scrap pages you have been sharing and especially your journaling. It brings a tear to my eye, it is so sweet and wonderfully said.
Posted by: Jennifer | February 21, 2008 at 12:43 PM
I hope you realize that God puts special children with special parents and you fit that role. You (and Zach) are so blessed to have each other.
Posted by: Gail | February 21, 2008 at 12:46 PM
Wow, Erika, I'm speechless.
We just had a local tragedy here in Michigan. A house fire claimed the life of a little 8yr old boy who goes to the same elementary school as my daughter. We just know the street he lives on and that his sister & mother escaped by jumping out the window. The firemen couldn't go into the house to save him in time because the utility company's couldn't shut the power off in time. How heart wrenching sad for him to die in the fire and for his family.
Please pray for them, okay?
Posted by: Gina Wrona | February 21, 2008 at 12:58 PM
What a great page (and photo)! Thank for sharing such a personal thing with all of us! ....hmmmm...now I'm getting the scrapbooking bug, too!
Posted by: Sarah Anderson | February 21, 2008 at 02:50 PM
Love the page and the journaling. Your post brought tears to my eyes. Your great love for Zach will keep him safe and sound.
xx
Anna
Posted by: Anna | February 21, 2008 at 03:09 PM
Love the page and the journaling. Your post brought tears to my eyes. Your great love for Zach will keep him safe and sound.
xx
Anna
Posted by: Anna | February 21, 2008 at 03:11 PM
This is absolutely beautiful. Thanks!!!
Posted by: Tanya | February 21, 2008 at 03:22 PM
beautiful page I love you blog I think I have mentioned that before but its a real treat each day
Posted by: laura | February 22, 2008 at 05:34 AM
Erika, this page is so beautiful, it brought tears to my eyes. Just wanted you to know that it touched me. Sincerely, Mary
Posted by: Mary Young | February 22, 2008 at 08:41 AM
Oh Erika, this page is beautiful and you made me cry again. You are no good for my stash of tissues! I so feel every word you wrote. I'd like to keep my little guy protected in my arms forever. It is very hard for me to lead him toward independence (even though I want to) because I am a little overprotective and I want to spare him as much heartache and frustation as I can...
God bless you for spreading the world and sharing your life with Zach with others. People need to know that it is a beautiful life too...
As for the article you linked, I am so disgusted that I don't even have the words, but I will pass it around. It's unbelievable that things like that can happen in our society! I'm shocked and enraged. :-(
Posted by: Bee | February 22, 2008 at 09:55 AM
Erika,
As usual, you have trusted complete strangers with the intimate details of your life and for that reason, we all want to embrace you and your family. That article just made my blood pressure pop and I can fully understand your primal urge to take your children and run. How lucky you are though, to be able to express and channel these emotions and feelings in such a beautiful and artistic way.
I only hope to one day become half as talented a scrapbooker as you.
Thank you so much,
Alison
Posted by: Alison | February 22, 2008 at 01:04 PM
AMAZING...what a touching tribute to your son!
Beautifully done....
Posted by: Carolyn King | February 22, 2008 at 02:40 PM
This is an awesome layout....love the photo and the feelings expressed....just awesome.
Posted by: ~Michelle~ | February 26, 2008 at 12:03 AM
Erika, I am touch to read your words and see the depth of your heart. May God bless you and Zach!
Posted by: Debbie Olson | February 28, 2008 at 05:33 PM
Your layout sums up perfectly everything I wish I could do for my son, he's 9 and autistic too. I found it hard to read the article as I could not believe how anyone could be so cruel and insensitve to an autistic childs needs as that government have been. Unfortunately this is the reality that we sometimes have to face. There are still so many people in the world who do not understand autism and therefore what is best for our children. My heart goes out to that family and I hope they get their son back soon.
Posted by: Fe | February 29, 2008 at 06:30 AM