For those of you that have been long-time blog readers here, you know that my grandmother passed away in January. She was very special to me and we were very close.
We had a small memorial service for her yesterday at a family dinner at her favorite restaurant. My grandfather ordered here favorite meal for her and he and my father ate it for her, as was the usual case whenever they went out to eat (well, they didn't eat the whole thing, they would just polish off anything she couldn't finish).
I wanted to do something special with pictures of my grandmother and decided on little accordion books that would serve as memorial books.
My sister emailed me some pictures and I had a couple prints that I liked that I had done in wallet size.
I made 8 of these little books and it seemed that everyone appreciated them. They weren't overdone.... they were very simple, but elegant.
I thought, at first, that this might be too personal to share, but then thought of all the wonderful support you all showed back in January when my grandmother went through her last days and when she passed away. I really appreciate all the kindness you showed during that time. My grandmother was very special to me and I wanted to share her with you.
While this is an accordion book, I also created and added folded pages inside the book to allow for 2 extra pictures, as well as 2 quotes.
I could have made the accordion longer, but then I would have had to splice cardstock together and thought this would give it a little more interest.
There's a big part of me that is a perfectionist. Even though I've tried hard to break out of that box, there's still a part of me that feels like everything has to be just so. Just perfect. Diving head first into the world of altered books and altered art really helped me to see that I could go outside the lines, break the rules and do absolutely whatever my heart desired. As I was working on these little books, I wanted them to be perfect. I had a vision in mind for them. I was given the pictures to work with, but when when it came down to actually doing the work of putting them together, I wanted to do it myself.
My daughter (she's 7) saw me working at my craft desk and asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was working on little memory books about Grandma and that I was going to bring them to the memorial service. My daughter told me she wanted to help. At first, I felt suffocated inside. This was MY project. MY vision. I was doing this. I didn't want anyone else to help with it. I wanted them to be perfect.
Then, I realized that I wasn't the only one that lost this person I loved so much. We all lost her. It's something we've all been learning to process. I knew, then, that I needed to let go of this being MINE and let my daughter have a part in it.
I took out the Perfect Plum cardstock and measured it in the paper cutter and let my daughter do the cutting. I don't let my daughter use the paper cutter, but I decided that this time, she would be allowed to use it, since she was sitting on my lap. We went through the process of cutting the paper together.
I took out the package of Enchante paper (from Stampin' Up....though it's no longer available) that I've been hoarding for a special project and pulled out a couple of pieces to see what looked best with the cardstock. I asked my daughter what she thought would look best on the front of the book. I was really hoping that she'd pick the paper I secretly wanted. She didn't. She picked out the little dainty purple flowers. Part of me wanted to try to talk her into choosing the paper I wanted. I let it go and told myself that this wasn't all about what I wanted. I let her choose the paper she wanted. I ended up using the paper I wanted inside of the book to mount the quotes on top of. It was a nice compromise.
After a while, my daughter went off to do something else and I took over and finished the books from there.
It was actually very therapeutic to work on these. My grandmother didn't want a funeral, calling hours, a wake or an obituary. We honored her wishes on that. While that was easy for most of us to process at the time that she passed away, it's been a little more challenging, in the long run, to fully find closure on all that's happened.
Wasn't she just beautiful? This picture always makes me think of a movie star. My grandfather was really touched by the little books. Just as I was really touched when he handed me a beautiful purple velvet box and told me to take one of the little urns that were inside. He gave my mom, sister and I each a beautiful little 3 inch tall carved pewter memorial urn to keep. It was a good opportunity to explain all of this to the kids, since this was their first experience with death. My little urn is sitting on the shelf in my living room. I know she's really not in there, but it's was so kind of my grandfather to share a part of her with all of us. I'm sure that wasn't easy for him to do, but it really meant a lot to all of us.
I'm now off to work on a project for my girls to do at my downline meeting tomorrow night.
Hope you all have a wonderful week!
Happy Creating!
-Stampin' Mama
This is just beautiful.. What a loving tribute to honor your grandmother with. And your grandfather, too, really, when you think about it. I've been wiping a tear or two reading your post.
Posted by: Paula | July 30, 2007 at 12:57 PM
Oh Erika, Your heart is so Full of Love. Your "personal" posts always remind me of just how important the love in our life is. What a beautiful tribute to your grandmother. I know I once said in an earlier post that it's easy to see how you have come to be such a loving and caring person...I say it again. The love you share with us, that is the love of your family, is beautiful!
Blessings to you all!
Hugs, Lourin
Posted by: Lourin | July 30, 2007 at 01:27 PM
I, and I'm sure at least 99% of your readers are feeling such love from you, in deciding to share this little memorial book with all of us!!! You are so filled with love, caring and sharing that it isn't really a big surprise. I would certainly imagine it was VERY theraputic AND your way of sharing it with your daughter was HUGE in my mind. I KNOW I would have had the same "first reaction" that you did, and it's soooo WONDERFUL that you included her!!!
Huges, Peace & Laughter to your family,
Tina Suzan
Posted by: Tina Suzan | July 30, 2007 at 03:02 PM
Wow. Makes me miss my grandparents so much. I had a cousin (whom I thought of as sister) die in a motorcycle accident seven years ago this coming October. I miss her so much. I think I will gather some pictures and do one of those for her mom. She was 19. Thank you for sharing a piece of your heart. Good job on including your little one, I would have done the same.
Posted by: Tammy Nichols | July 30, 2007 at 06:43 PM
Those are beautiful. I love that you let your daughter help with the books. That was a very special thing to do. Thank you so much for sharing them with us.
Posted by: Gina (Meet my Brother) | July 30, 2007 at 08:08 PM
Erika, this is so precious...not only your gift of the memorial book, but letting go & letting your daughter be a part of it will be a precious memory to her. This brought tears to my eyes, you really are still in the healing process & that's good! Thanks for sharing your heart with us.
Posted by: Donna Baker | July 31, 2007 at 10:07 AM
Erika - those turned out beautiful and all the more memorable since your daughter helped you. Your grandmother was beautiful! I think it must have been very therapeutic for you; if not at that moment, but maybe later when you look through your book and remember putting them together with your daughter. I know what you mean about being hard to let go and give in, but sometimes that's the best thing, when you look back on it. Thanks for sharing your story with us. Have a great day -
Beth (mommy to an almost-4 yr old)
Posted by: Beth B. | July 31, 2007 at 11:02 AM
Thank you for sharing something very touching. My mother requested no service, and although we honored her wishes, we suffered with no closure. When my dad passed away, we decided to have a "double memorial" that helped our family a great deal. In letting your daughter help you, you gave her a gift that probably you were given from your grandma...someone to allow you to make decisions and a chance to learn how to do something, even if imperfect. I love the quotes you have in your book; what a beautiful tribute to your grandma.
Posted by: Kathy W | July 31, 2007 at 12:45 PM
What a lovely way to celebrate your grandmothe's life. Bless your heart for making 8 of these beautiful mini books so that all of your family could each have one. You and your daughter did a beautiful job cutting the card-stock. I enjoyed looking at all of the pictures Erika. Your grandmother was a very beautiful young woman. Time may rob us of our outside beauty but it can not rob us of the beauty within...........not unless we allow it to. It sounds as though your grandmother did not allow that to happen.
Thinking of you.
Hugs,
Mary
Posted by: Mary C. Anderson | July 31, 2007 at 01:09 PM
Erika,
This is so nice....what a great memory! I only have one living grandparent...my grandma...she is 87 and not doing well. I actually went to see her yesterday. I know my heart will break when I do lose her. I hope this photo book was a healing process for you...wish I had known you back in January! HUGS!
Posted by: Michele | July 31, 2007 at 08:48 PM
Wow, Erika! That was an awesome post! I know that feeling of wanting something done just right...but you did good in letting your little girl help! That was a very wonderful memorial to your grandmother. Thanks for taking the time to share it with us. Grandmothers are special people in our lives. I know my maternal grandmother was! I never knew my paternal grandmother or grandfather....I am awaiting my 5th grandchild's birth, any day now. Thanks again for sharing from your heart.
Jean
Posted by: jean | July 31, 2007 at 10:12 PM
Thank you Erika so much for posting this. My mom lost her best friend last month and seeing your little accordion book makes me realize how much such a treasure would help her. We are all missing her so very much and going through the process of gathering pictures and putting everything together will certainly help dealing with the loss.
Posted by: Annemiek | August 01, 2007 at 03:16 AM
Erika ~ thank you so much for posting this! You did such a beautiful job with this and should be proud! I can image how this would prove to be theraputic for you! I am sure letting your daughter help you in YOUR project wasn't easy, but that sure was special for her too! thanks again for sharing with us!
Posted by: Jenny Wrona | August 01, 2007 at 01:14 PM
Thank you so much for sharing this with us. Your grandmother was beautiful.
My father in law passed away two months ago. Perhaps I can use this idea as a gift at Christmas time for my husband's family. I think it would be very much appreciated. He was a wonderful man and I still miss him deeply.
Thank you for sharing such a personal part of your life with us. I truly appreciate it.
Posted by: Patti Williamson | August 02, 2007 at 07:08 AM
Those memory books are beautiful, and so was your grandmother ! You're right she does look like a movie star in that black and white picture !
I can see things from her in your face too, the chin, the lips....
I'm sure your grandfather was touched by it, and your little reunion in her favorite restaurant with her favorite meal was such a great idea.
I lost my beloved Grandma in 2000 and I still think often about her.
I had a big smile on my face while reading you because of the way you reacted when your daughter wanted to participate. I am like that also, afraid the project won't be the way I want it and I have a hard time letting go...I'm working on leting her having her way more often but it's hard ! :-)
Posted by: Bee | August 02, 2007 at 11:38 AM