On Wednesday, I went to the bariatrics center for the group orientation. It was very informative and I left with an appointment for next week for my psych evaluation with their center psychologist.
One of the nurses came in and did a PowerPoint presentation that included info on the doctors, nurses,dietician, and psychologist involved in the bariatrics program. It also showed the different surgery options available, the pros and cons, and what would be included in each as far as recovery, success rate, and post-op requirements. Then the dietician came in explained her role in the program and what their expectations of us would be along with the eating schedule post-op. After the PowerPoint was over and we were able to ask questions, each of us (there were about 20 of us there) sat down with either the dietician or the nurse to go over what procedure we were interested in and to make an appointment for our psych evaluation. We were also told what amount of weight we should be losing required for the surgery. I was actually told to maintain my weight because I was just over the line for qualifying for the procedure. If I lose any weight before I officially "check in" to the program, I could be disqualified for it.
I went to my "food psychologist" that morning (she specializes in eating disorders) and told her that I would be going to the orientation. She asked how I felt about it and I told her that I had a nervous excitement. I had already been prequalified for any of the surgeries due to my BMI but actually taking this first step towards pursuing this was a big deal for me. She asked if I was set on the Lap-band or if I had contemplated any of the other procedures (gastric bypass or gastric sleeve). She wondered if either of the others were even an option in my mind. I told her they weren't. I was surprised when she told me that I should leave my options open and seriously consider the gastric sleeve. That really surprised me because that is the one procedure that is not reversible and the one that something is actually removed from the body. I'm not sure I can be so open to that, but I promised myself earlier this year that I can't be as black and white with myself as I've been for so many years. Even though I'm not contemplating the sleeve, I do want to remain open to learning and so I'm educating myself on all of the procedures strictly as a gathering of information.
While David has his opinions about baraitrics surgery, he is being supportive of my right to choose. He feels that I don't need it but he is willing to support any decision I make. He really has come a long way in being respectful about my choices especially when they don't jive with his opinions on it. He has also been very respectful about my boundaries when it comes to how much or how little I want to discuss my eating issues and my weight. Therapy sessions have been immensely beneficial for me over the past year. I've learned to be more assertive when it comes to setting my boundaries with the person I love the most. I've learned to not feel guilty for setting boundaries. Tonight, I talked a little bit to him about the orientation meeting and then things move on to other topics. A little later into the night, he brought something up and I made it known that I was hesitant to talk about it. He asked what was wrong and I told him, "I just feel like we're talking about this too much." I surprised myself by not feeling overly defensive and he definitely responded to the calm and even tone that I used. He said, "Okay," and that was it. I certainly don't have this method perfected by any means, but I was excited inside to have shut down something that was making me feel uncomfortable without feeling bad about it and without either of us getting all riled up about it. That makes me hopeful that I can do that again in the future and the response will be just as gentle and understanding.