When I was pregnant with my second child back in 1999, I thought it was so smart to have my kids so close together. They're 13 1/2 months apart. One was born in 1999 and the second arrived in 2000. I figured I could get the diapering over with at the same time and as they grew up, they'd be the best of friends and play together. They'd always have someone close in age to play with.
Yeah, that didn't work out quite like I planned it. My son was diagnosed with autism when he was a wee little one and didn't get out of diapers until he was 7 years old. My daughter, though a neuro-typical child, refused to potty train because she figured that if her brother could poop and pee in his pants and he was a year old than her, then why couldn't she? It wasn't until around her 4th birthday that she decided she was done pooping and peeing in her diaper and switched over to big girl panties cold turkey. I knew she could do it, she just didn't want to if she didn't have to. She's always been a bit stubborn, that girl-child. One day, I sat down and figured out that with only two children, I put in 11 years worth of diapering - 7 years with the boy-child and 4 years with the girl-child. I know that's not a record or anything, but it was more than I ever thought I would have to do when my wee ones entered the world.
They also aren't the best of friends. I should have known they'd have the same type of sibling relationship that my sister and I had. We're 15 months apart. Or that my brother and I have. We're 18 months apart. My girl-child and boy-child have the typical sibling relationship of liking each other one minute and not being able to stand each other the next minute. They argue, they know how to push each other's buttons, they will sometimes hit each other. Yup, it's the same way that it was with my siblings, except that I didn't dare swear at my siblings and both of my kids have potty mouths when they get upset with each other. Sure, I thought it when I was their age, but I would have had my mouth washed out with soap if I ever tried that as a child.
One thing that I didn't think about when I had my kids so close together is that we'd be dealing with a boy-child AND a girl-child going through puberty at the same time. Let me assure you that this is even more challenging than the diapering issue or the sibling rivalry.
The hormones have definitely started on both fronts and they're manifesting themselves in ways we weren't quite prepared for.
The boy-child wants to know everything about penises and sex.
The girl-child wants to argue with absolutely everything we say.
Zach asked me the other night, "Mom, are there bones in my penis?"
I told him, "No, there aren't any bones in your penis."
He asked, "Then, is that why it's usually always floppy and squishy?"
I said, "That sounds about right." I mean, what else was I supposed to say? I wanted to laugh, but I've tried not to do that when the kids have legitimate questions about their body parts, puberty, sex, etc. I want them to always feel comfortable asking me questions and talking to me about that kind of stuff. So far, so good. But it doesn't stop my hubby and I from chuckling a bit later on because it IS funny.
And then there's the girl-child. I was at the store wtih her a couple months ago on a grocery run and I picked a box of tampons off the shelf. I asked her if she knew what they were. She said they were pads, so I corrected her and told her what they were. No embarrassment on her part. That's a good sign. But....what came out next was super funny.
She said, "You still need those at YOUR age, Mom?"
Um, hello! I'm ONLY 34! I'm the young parent when it comes to her classmates. Most of the parents of her classmates are at least 8 or more years older than me.
I counteracted that one by telling her that most women need those until they're close to 50, sometimes a few years past that. She responded with, "Oh, crap. That sucks."
Welcome to puberty, kids.