Sharp Contrast - a very personal scrapbook page

I thought that for today, I would share a scrapbook page that was born out of my soul. This page is very personal to me and shows a part of me that not many people know existed at one time.

The past is hard to escape for some of us. For some, it's easier to remember than it is for others. But no matter what our past holds, it is an intricate part of us and whether or not we choose to remember or embrace it, we can't deny that it makes us who we are today.

As much as part of my past is painful for me to look back on, I have chosen to embrace the parts that make me the person I have become today. When I look at who I am now, I know that none of it would be possible without having to walk through the fires of the past. It's not that I necessarily embrace the past, so to speak, but I embrace the results of the journey.

I have found that scrapbooking my past and the things that I've guarded close to my soul (my thoughts, my feelings, my wounds, my victories.....) have helped to heal me. It's been a therapeutic process. Very eye-opening and strengthening. While I know that much of this seems vague without knowing the path of my past, I'm hoping that seeing this page will help some of you to dig a little deeper into knowing who you are and why you ARE who you are. It's amazing what photos, paper, adhesive and embellishments can do for the soul.

I'll definitely share more of my pages like this because I've come to the point in my life where I want to share who I really am.....to let people see past the surface, past who I am now and to see what has shaped me and molded me to the person you see today. I'm in no way trying to make myself sound extraordinary. In fact, I find myself extraordinarily ordinary. I just feel the need to share and hope that others might find my story worth reading. I went back and forth on whether or not to share this in such a public place, but the time is right.

This page may look like there's a lot to it, but in reality, it was very easy to put together. I cut out letters from magazines for the title and adhered them to my base page, after swiping my White craft ink pad across the page. The flower embellishment is made from three prima flowers stacked together and secured with a mega rhinestone (from GinaK). I used some alphabet tiles for my "now" and "then" across the bottom of each photo. A length of silver ribbon separates the top and bottom photos and journaling.

I printed off my journaling and then cut it into strips. I adhered them to my page (my base paper is a piece of 12 x 12 paper from Basic Grey's Motifica line), separated with silver mini brads to keep each point separate. If you read the journaling on top and then on bottom, you'll soon see that each point up top corresponds with a point in the bottom journaling.

I wanted this page to be carried by the photos and the journaling. These were the things that were most important to me.....just like all of the pages that I create. The embellishments, to me, should support the theme, not necessarily carry it.

The top photo is a picture that I took of myself.....kind of as a mistake. I was actually going to delete the picture and then started to play with it in Photoshop and really liked the outcome. It was taken in February of this year and I found that it really shows who I am today.

The picture below was taken when I was 17. It was taken at a homeschool conference that my family went to in MA.

(You can click on any of the pictures for a larger view.)

The journaling reads:

Sharp Contrast

NOW
* When I smile, I feel it inside.
* I'm strong inside and out.
* I'm free to be me.
* I've found joy in my locks and letting them show, I'm comfortable in my own skin and my spirit has found its wings.
* I know who I really am. I broke free from the shackles and in finding strength, I feel like I've been birthed anew.

THEN
* When I smiled, I felt like I was dying inside.
* I was searching for strength.
* I was repressed and made to be someone else.
* I was forced to cover my head, my body, my spirit.
* I felt like I was a prisoner in my own body, like I had been stripped of who I was really meant to be.

"What you need to know about the past it is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now." - Author Unkown

Happy Creating!

-Stampin' Mama

Comments

[Heather]

I love this page, it's so great and I love the new profile pic BTW. You are a huge inspiration, thanks!!

[Erin Glee]

I LOVE this page you created of your "then" self and your "now" self! It's touching how you shared your pain, and beautiful to see that you had the strength to change and free yourself. Visualy it is a cool page, too. I like the "ransom letter" title because it is edgy, but it also has a double meaning....maybe you felt "trapped" or "held prisoner" or expected to act in a certain way, but you paid your own ransom and now you are free to be yourself. Do you see what I am saying, or am I reading more into it than is there?

I think the photo of you smiling your natural smile on the bottom of the last post is my favorite... the wind blowing your locks and fly-aways, looking healthy and happy!

I got my Groovy Give-away from Kitchen Sink Stamps today! I LOVE "Happy Bithday Cupcake" and the tins... thank you again for having a fun blog and doing things like this. I also ordered my Mother's Day gifts! I now have "Playful Alphabet" and "Playful Numbers"! I enjoyed doing business with Maria & recommend Kitchen Sink Stamps to anyone that will listen.... the paypal transaction occured late Friday and it was in the mail SATURDAY! We live in the same State, so I got it today. Wow. I'm going to a Crop on Sat. & plan on starting a "birthdays through the years" type of album for each of my kids (so two tins is perfect). I'm thinking if I can fit 11 pages of thin chipboard in there, I can put one picture of each Birthday on each page until they are 21, plus a title page! I thinkin' accordion/banner type of construction....I'm excited to get going on it.....blah, blah, blah I think I need to sign off. Goodnight!

[LuvLee]

Very unique and artistic page Erika!! And brave to share! I can't deal with my childhood as abusive and unhappy as it was.......so I have to focus on my wonderful hubby and children and who I am now. But I think that a lot of women will be so touched and inspired by your scrap page! Thank you so much for sharing part of your journey!

[bunny]

Great page Erika! :) I love it!! Thanks for sharing.
x

[Nicole]

insanely AWESOME!
just breathtaking! :D

[Menda]

This is magnificent and such a beautiful way to show your soul. TFS

[Debra E]

Thank you so much for sharing this page. It sounds like you have come a long way. I'm a bit behind you on that journey. You inspire me to keep moving forward.

[Charmaine]

I love the quote you have at the end...so true...our past shapes our future...everything happens for a reason.

Thanks for sharing a part of yourself.

Charmaine

[Bee]

This page is beautiful Erika, I always love your scrapbooking, there's like an aura around it, no wonder you find it therapeutic! :-)

You see I am not there yet. I think I am often intimidated by the page and the thought of putting myself out there, even though I do it easily in real life being very open!
You just made me think that I should make a scrapbooking album just for me, a more intimate work that maybe one day would be passed to my children.

Thanks for the inspiration...♥

[Jane]

Love your SB page. Very brave of you to share! I've used SBing as therapy myself. Mainly in creating memorial albums for loved ones I've lost...but I've also created a couple pages as part of MY therapy. Have a wonderful day!

Jane

[Rachel Shirk]

This is an incredible page. Thank you for sharing it.

[Lois Folla]

Hi Honey,

I loved you THEN, I love you NOW, and I will love you ALWAYS!

Huggies,
Lois

[Jodi Galland]

Hi Erika!

Love the page and the quote at the end. And I LOVE that sunny new pic at the top of your blog!

[AJ]

I <3 you.

[Patty W]

Wow...Erika, you are an extremely amazing woman!

Thanks for sharing yourself with us. Y.O.U. = Beautiful !

Hugs!

[Amy]

I loved your post and I love the page. Thanks for sharing some of yourself with us!

[Cathy]

Love your SB page. What a brave and giving woman you are! God Bless. By the way, did I miss something?! The new addition to the family that you were picking up at the airport?! I am intrigued, you have my attention:)

[jenn nahrstadt]

love that picture of you at the top! i am also a believer that God never wastes any experiences, so i'm happy for you that you are feeling freed and free to share your story. it's humbling that you'd choose to do it with us, people you don't really know, yet trust. that's a cool God thing, if you ask me!

[Denise G]

You are brave. Your page is so nicely done. Of course, my heart felt heavy reading your post and page. BUT, having read previous entries, I realize you have conquered much, your talent and personality shines through.

Denise G

[Kari]

Very cool page. I love that you are using your scrapbooking in this way. In the future it is pages like these that will help your children and grandchildren know who you really are/were. It's awesome. Thanks for putting it out there. :) Kari

[Gina K.]

Fabulous...

[Mary C. Anderson]

Your page is amazing. I love the Now and then portrait of yourself. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself. You are such an awesome person.
The quote thatyu added at the bottom of your page is so very true.

Mary

[suzanne]

Erica, Thank you so much for sharing this amazing page. I hope it is ok that I used your quote on the bottom of the page in a BLOG entry on my personal BLOG as well as linked to you. I have two BLOGs a crafty one and a more personal retro and intro-spective. YOur quote really touched me. The one where I cited you is called Life Out My Window at http://sewthoughtful.blogspot.com/

[Shawn Kreig]

Such a beautiful page! It really does justice to the journey that you are on...thank you so much for sharing it with us. Really stunning!

Shawn K.

[Jennie T.]

Gorgeous page! Gorgeous you!
Let it out :)